I’ve come to the conclusion that my family is not like other families. We’re odd. From me down to our creepy, 11 lb dog. Our house also seems to be utter chaos at all times; someone is always in costume and we’re by far the loudest house on the block. True to form, last night … there was an incident.
I was sitting in my office after dinner staring at the computer trying to come up with something funny or insightful to write when I heard a horrifying sound: like a minibike wreck crossed with a pack of monkeys strung out on Pop Rocks — and it wasn’t going away. I rushed into the family room where it looked like dishes were falling from the sky. And not in a good way.
It took me a second (but felt like an hour) to figure out what was going on. My 80 lb. dog Rocco was running like a maniac through the house and bucking like a bronco … with the lower rack of the dishwasher attached to his collar. And it was full of dishes. He was everywhere. He took chunks out of the wall, just barely missed the HDTV, and was putting on a show for The Beast (our 4 yr old) who was sitting on the couch grinning with those big buck teeth. Freaked out, Rocco couldn’t figure out why this loud, white, wire rack was following him.
I leaped into action trying to catch the beast before he did any more damage and managed to get a piece of a ceramic bowl lodged in my finger. He finally wiggled loose, opened the back door (which he does by himself) and was in the backyard trying to get his bearings.
It turns out that as the dishwasher was bring loaded he was licking plates. As he was shooed away, he pulled back and got the dishwasher rack wheel stuck in his collar. How? I have no friggin’ idea.
We surveyed the damage: broken glasses and bowls littered the family room and kitchen. Our newly painted walls had chunks taken out of them, but luckily no one was hurt. Somehow the dog who ate the siding off the house, digested socks and inhaled 3 lbs of raw turkey burgers managed to top himself.
Move over Marley — there’s a new kid in town.
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