I Don’t Feel Older

There was a shift.

I’ve run with the same guys for over 30 years now. I’ve known a couple since kindergarten, and most of the others since we started terrorizing teachers in grade school.

Somehow we’ve continued to stay friends for decades through moves, divorces, stupid arguments, fighting over women and dare I say “maturing.”

This past weekend we got together for our 15th annual Super Bowl party and there was a shift. Even though we’ve all become fathers, husbands, and professionals, we act like complete morons when we get together. Adult beverages flow, dirty jokes are the norm, and we are as loud as we ever were at 18. But something was different this past weekend. While the humor was as dirty and cocktails flowed, the conversation shifted.

The first conversation of the evening that was out-of-place was about cholesterol. It’s safe to say that there has never been a conversation about cholesterol levels before. It went on for  15 long minutes and we found out that five of the eight guys were suffering from high cholesterol. Usually the first big conversation of the night is which Happy Days episode showed Fonzie’s true character, or who the hottest chick we went to high school with was. And believe me, those debates are intense. They make Clinton vs. Obama look like Peppermint Patty vs. Linus.

Now, you might think that it would be natural for guys in their mid to late 30′s to talk about something like that, and you’d be right … sort of. While we do get together with our families, there are about three dates a year that it’s “guys only.” We shred our responsibilities for 24 hours, kick back, and just have fun. And in turn it makes us better husbands and fathers. Most topics that contain anything remotely serious have been off-limits– an unspoken rule. But this time it was different. The flood gates were open.

Just when it dawned on me that the conversation had shifted I looked over at my buddy Steve, who’s had his own health problems in recent years. And he was making a salad. A salad!!! It’s safe to say in the past 20 years the only thing green at one of our parties was a jello shot.

Soon after all the tough guys finished their salad, the talk of 529′s started in, and which state’s program was most represented. The thought of paying for your kids college tuition is enough to make anyone queasy. And right after I got over that thought, and settled in watching a basketball game, a buddy of mine of 30 years looks at me and says, “So, how the hell are you going to pay for three kids to go to college?” It was like a punch in the gut when you’re not ready for it.

Like I said, of course I’ve wondered how in the hell I’m going to send my three kids to college. My daughter is just oozing with expensive art school, my oldest son is smarter than he realizes, and I’m hoping my youngest son will get a football scholarship because running around tackling everyone in the house is his forte. But I’m not counting on it.

Sometimes it’s a little jarring to see relationships evolve, I guess even a bit sad. But it’s also how you gauge the important relationships in your life. The ones that don’t evolve just end up just being drinking buddies.

Tagged as: Buddies, Getting Older